It's hard, really, being a young mother these days. It's almost like you are always told to do this and that, this way, that way. Yet whatever you do, you're never good enough.
You're constantly judged, with very little acknowledgement. I was stuck in this limbo when I first became a mother.
"Your baby's too light. You should feed him formula." "You've stopped breastfeeding? Why you don't have enough milk?".
"You're working? You let others take care of your baby?!". "So you're not working now? What a waste!".
"Your baby can't talk yet? Show him YouTube!". "Eh, gadgets not good you know, can cause autism!".
"Your boy is very hyper ya!". *serves my hyper son a tray of candy*
And the list goes on, it's exasperating! PHEEWWWWW!!
Of course I was insulted and got defensive. I blamed myself for not doing enough... And that feeling like you're constantly failing just eats you up!
However over time I learned to filter unwarranted advices and comments, bearing in mind that these people meant well. Maybe they were just genuinely concerned and wanted to share their experience. But that doesn't mean I have to follow everything they say.
If you are not my parents in law, my mom, my aunts and close family members whom I know are always in our best interests, I thank you for your suggestions but forgive me if I don't take them all into practice. I'm not being stubborn or arrogant, but one can only deal with so much, you know?
In the end I decide what's best for my children and what works for us.
I have figured that there are the right ways to do things as suggested by experts on papers. And then there are also the practical ways of winging and winning this thing called parenting, while keeping our sanity.
I do believe that every mother only wants the best for their children, no matter what decisions they take or the mistakes done along the way. Somewhere deep down inside, I would like to believe they really meant to do what they thought was right at that particular time.
Who are we to judge just because we think we would have made a better decision, given the same situation? After all, we don't wear the same shoes although at some cross roads, we do walk the same path.
All we can do is support each other. And in between those crazy meltdowns and milk spills, say a prayer for one another.
Behind every mother, there need to be a group of like minded positive mothers. I am blessed to have these two among my other mommy friends who are constantly encouraging and assisting me in many ways.
We try to meet up as much as possible for our self-proclaimed compulsory Mommy Break Day. Special thanks to our dearest respective husbands for the permission and understanding.
These two ladies, are super, I tell you! One left her career with a big corporation to stay home and raise her child, exclusively breastfed for two years too!! She's one of the most disciplined mom I know and I take her dedication as an inspiration.
The other meanwhile, must have invisible extra hands because she juggles two children with no help at home, a few growing businesses and still manage to look impeccable!
I don't know how these two do it. I don't know how you all do it!! I hope to learn as much from all of you supermoms out there!
Now where's our cape? Let's put it on and save the world one tantrum at a time!
May it all please Allah.
Lots of love,
Supermom wannabe, M