Monday, September 5, 2016

Being There

What do you remember from your childhood?
The taste of your favourite cake?
The smell of your mother's hair?
The sound of your own laughter high up in the air?

We remember how we felt. Both joy and pain. Packed in a box at the back of our minds, carried along with every step we take through the years we live.

As a child of a working mom, I didn't remember her hours of absence during the day or moments I had to play with the helper, but rather the feelings I experienced when I spent time with her. I remembered the warmth of security, assurance and comfort provided through our quality time together, albeit discounted short mostly. I wanted more time with her, but I understood she had to do what she had to in order to provide us with the best.

But in that short moment, the joyful memories are embedded in my mind. Something I fall back on and brought back to especially in moments of longing and difficulties. These feelings stayed with me through my journey growing up and to this day.

Reflecting on this, made me took many conscious decisions in order to have more time with my children. Not just being physically there, but being actively involved and present emotionally, mentally too. I didn't leave my full time job to let the idiot box babysit my Precious Two.

SO I self-imposed this rule onto myself; the requirement to spend uninterrupted quality time with my children every day. One on one with each of them, and also both of them together at the same time to create that sibling bond. When one is sleeping, I will play with the other one. No screen for any of us. TV's off, HP's away. I'm imposing the rule on my dear husband too. It's even more important for him to have full focus during our playtime because he's at work during the day. If it's not our children's laughter that heals our exhausted mind, what else will?

I believe if we can gain their trust from their early days by being interested and encouraging in whatever they do, it would make it easier for them to open up later on especially during their hormonal teenage years where things can take a sharp turn. We've been there, thinking that our parents didn't care and had no idea what we were going through. Thing is we just didn't know we needed their help. We caved in and shut them out.

I don't want that for us. I want my children to know I will be there for them, with them through every weird pimples, heartbreaks and falls. Whether they want it, like it or not, this mom is going to be there!

Coz I'm obsessed like that, kids. And you have no choice. I will let you make mistakes and learn the hard way when you have to. But at the end of the day, I will be there to wipe your tears and lift you up again. Because I didn't risk my life bringing you into this world to give up on you. I'm a mother. This is what I do. I fix things.

May it please Allah.


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